Sunday, August 17, 2014

Burma Shave

Here in the UK we glimpse Burma Shave only through myths and legends, not unlike the fall of Troy or the story of Sisyphus.

Some nights my heart pounds like thunder
I don't know why it don't explode
'Cause everyone in this stinking town's
Got one foot in the grave
I'd rather take my chances
Out in Burma Shave
-Burma Shave
Tom Waits

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Fragments of Noir - Jack Vettriano

Fragments of Noir is an outstanding website. All round. No argument. This is a guy who really, really gets noir. Who understands noir on a really deep level. Right down to the beating black heart of it all.

One of my favourite things I've discovered through the site is the artist, Jack Vettriano. Wanna know why? Here, take a look.


Consumately stylish, overtly sexual with undertones of violence, loneliness, restrained passions and deep regret. He is like a fusion between Edward Hopper and the sort of classic pulp artist that these days only seems to find employment at Hard Case Crime. So many stories hinted at but left untold.

Fragments of Noir has plenty more Vettriano here.

While you can find out more about the artist here.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

QOTM: Kill Kill Faster Faster

You ain't stupid, man. You put out your hand, but then you pull it back. So you deny them. You deny them that. And then what do they have? They have nothing. They have fucking nothing, and you have your name.

My name is Joey One-Way.

What's yours?

-Kill Kill Faster Faster
Joel Rose

Monday, July 7, 2014

Ascenseur pour l'echafaud (Malle, 1958)

aka Elevator to the Gallows

Two men.
Two women.
Two murders.

And the most perfect noir soundtrack imaginable from Miles Davis:

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Ask the Dust - John Fante

(If you want to skip the pointless rant, the actual review is at the bottom.)

Here's the thing about John Fante's Ask the Dust:

In 1977, The Runaways released their second album, Queens of Noise. By the time I was old enough to start searching out decent music The Runaways had pretty much been forgotten. I eventually came across Joan Jett, of course, but with so much music to dig through, so much junk covering the good stuff, I never had time to seriously investigate her back catalogue. She released a few decent rock anthems, fair enough, good stuff, so did a lot of other people.

In 1977 I was one year old. It wasn't until last year I got around to digging up Joan Jett's sordid past and discovered a song from the album called Neon Angels on the Road to Ruin.


I mean, come on people. Do you see that title? The song simply cannot fail to be excellent with a title like that. But because I was a babe in arms at the time and the music fell out of fashion, I was left digging through thousands of hours of mostly tedious and overrated music before I even discovered that the song existed. Why have you wasted so much of my life by not telling me there's a song called Neon Angels on the Road to Ruin?* Why would you do that to me? There's so much shit I've had to wade through, so much money spent on the wrong thing, when practically my entire life there's been a song with that title, but no-one thought to tell me.


So that's why society is wrong. It is wrong and it is shit, and it is obviously unfair I've had to spend half my life without knowing that there was a song called Neon Angels on the Road to Ruin. Somebody should have told me when I was sixteen, so that I didn't have to waste the next couple of years believing that Oasis were actually quite good.

And that's how I feel about Ask the Dust by John Fante. It was published in 1939. It was a huge influence on Charles Bukowski. I never heard of it until this year. Why have I had to wade through hundreds of shitty recomendations when this work of obvious genius was sitting there all the time? Why does so much shit get thrust into our faces, making it so hard to fight through the crowd and find the works of momentous truth and beauty on the other side? Why does society throw Coldplay and the Stereophonics at me, Chris Brown and Miley Cyrus, instead of genuine artists of skill and passion, whether they're to my taste or not?


If you don't know about John Fante, and you haven't read Ask the Dust, then read it. Especially if you like, for instance, Bukowski. Or perhaps I could place it somewhere between Hemingway and Steinbeck, and it was quite possibly also an influence on the likes of Chandler and Goodis. Not everyone will love it, of course, there's still the matter of taste. But that doesn't stop it being brilliant and everybody should know about it. Everybody. When they are of age, tell your children. Don't force it on them. But for God's sake, at least let them know it's out there.**

*It's not the Best Song Title of All Time, of course, because that award has been retired and given in all perpetuity to Je Suis un Teenage Zombie de la Outer Space, Baby, by Les Prostiputes. But it's a good candidate for runner up.

**It's a semi-autobiographical novel about a deluded aspiring writer in LA, struggling to cope with both failure and limited success, filled with poverty and dreams and his love-hate-love-hate infatuation with a crazy waitress. It's frequently funny but also filled with moments of genuine despair and terror at the bare facts of life in depression era USA, and also at the existential crisis at the heart of the creative life which the protagonist naiively romanticises but which the novel examines in usparing, highly critical detail. File under: Essential.

Further reference:
Neon Angels on the Road to Ruin
When did mediocrity and banality become a good image for your children? Play from your fucking heart.
Stewart Lee: Talking Books
"The world of publishing is in crisis...No I haven't read it because I'm a forty year old man."

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Number Thirteen Press

Okay, so the other thing I've been up to recently is setting up my own small e-publishing company: Number Thirteen Press has now officially launched.

True, there are plenty of small e-presses around at the moment. As the publishing industry goes through seismic upheaval, a lot of genre fiction is going electronic. The pulp/crime field is perhaps lead by Blasted Heath and New Pulp Press, both of which are marvellous. But there are plenty of others doing little great things. You know who they are.

The future of pulp fiction is electronic. It's all about cost. The original pulp paperbacks in the 50s and 60s were produced in massive quantities on the cheapest paper possible, and sold cheaply. Same with the old pulp magazines. But you can't do that anymore with physical books because of the economic models. The big players don't take any risks, they're all about the latest mega hit by the latest mega writer, and small (non-electronic) presses are on the tightest possible budgets. They make money on 1 book out of 10, and that pays for the other 9. 

So (mostly, the likes of Hard Case Crime apart) it's only in e-publishing that you'll find original, inventive, incredible fiction that takes risks. This goes for crime, horror, sci-fi, anything that pushes beyond the mainstream. Lee Child is all very well, but people want something different sometimes. Small presses can take risks.

But none of the other small presses are doing exactly what I would do. So why the hell not start my own?

Here's the idea: an initial list of 13 crime novellas (or short novels), published one per month, on the 13th of each month. Professional editing; stylish, distinctive covers.

Why 13? Well, I figured if you're going to publish one book every single month, you want to avoid the beginning and end of the month, what with Christmas, New Year and other holidays. So in the middle of the month is the 13th. Then I thought about Black Friday by David Goodis, and it all seemed to fit into place. Also, being part of an exclusive and regular list can only help sales for all the books. Why not buy the set?

So all I need now are the manuscripts. If you think you've got something I might like, check out and send it in. I want pulp crime novellas, but all those terms are taken at their broadest possible meaning and I'd rather take a look and not like it than potentially miss out. So send it in, and tell your brother/sister/cousin/friend with the manuscript in their bottom drawer to send that in, too.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

He Died With His Eyes Open - Derek Raymond

Technically this is a police procedural, but the unnamed protagonist in the first of the Factory series has more in common with a classic hardboiled private detective. He works alone, on cases nobody else cares about. He is dedicated to his job because he thinks it matters when somebody is murdered, even though no-one else gives a damn. It's his one redeeming feature as he drinks his way through the sleazy underbelly of London.

And London is important. He couldn't really be a private detective, because the UK doesn't have real private detectives, not in this mold. But London is one of the trio of voices in this book, each more damned than the last. The unnamed detective is a no good piece-of-shit, lacking personal or proffesional ambition, who happens to think that the cases referred to the Department for Unexplained Deaths (ie. cases not worth devoting serious resources to) might just matter, even if only to him and the dead man. Nobody else who knew the corpse in life expresses much regret at his death. But London, London is also a no good piece-of-shit town. London has a voice just as vivid, and it's a voice which damns its occupants precisely because it doesn't care. London prefers to leave its inhabitants to their own miserable company. An uncaring and neglectful father who watches its children swirl down the drain without lifting a finger, tainting the lives of everybody who breathes its poisonous air, watching them piss their lives away in desperate alcoholic fugs, or drown in the backstreet violence of its dingy alleyways.

Derek Raymond has been called the Godfather of British noir or somesuch, and I don't remember reading any older British fiction this dark. The thing that really drags this book into the depths is the third voice. In a trick he would repeat throughout the Factory series, the voice of the dead man is given equal weight to the city and the detective. As the policeman listens to a number of tapes the victim recorded before his grisly and brutal murder, we are dragged into both the life and death of a man who was himself desperate and damned. He is a failure, a miserable drunk abandoned by his family and everything he might once have wanted to live for. As he narrates his movement towards death and the detective sleazes his way deeper into the dead man's story, the true loneliness at the heart of the existence of each is played out both in the present and the past. The detective insinuates his way into the dead man's life, into his bed, and ultimately into a bizarre and tortuous meta-sacrifice, almost a ritual claiming of equality between the dead and the damned of a heartless city awash with alcohol and violence.

Derek Raymond carried a notion of the Black Novel, which would address: 

‘the question of turning a small, frightened battle with oneself into a much greater struggle – the universal human struggle against the general contract, whose terms are unfulfillable, and where defeat is certain.' 

This quote seems to encapsulate the black heart of noir and few writers have come as close to actualising such a book as Raymond does here. An incredible novel, as dark as any I've yet come across. If you like noir then read this book, because this is it.